Finding a Christian Spouse
by Cory Waddell
One of the most important decisions a person makes is finding a Christian spouse. Even in a society that has devalued lifelong marriages, people still recognize the seriousness of taking that step. For Christians, our belief in God’s holy design of one man with one woman for life only increases the value of this relationship. However, it has been stated on numerous occasions by various young adults, “Well, I can’t find anyone who is a Christian that I want to marry.” If you know someone who feels that way, indulge me for a moment with some tips on how to find that spouse. Parents, my request to you is that you have your kids read this and that you begin finding ways to encourage them now to use wisdom in this decision in their lives.
Don’t Get in a Hurry to Marry – Social norms, stereotypes, and discussions about “biological clocks” have often created a sense of panic in the souls of young people who have not found that significant other by a specific time in their lives. There is also a sense of being “left out” if friends are engaging in the covenant of matrimony and you are not. Yet, panic about one’s marital status (or lack thereof) can lead to some very hasty decisions. Namely, settling for anybody, regardless of what kind of person they are. Believe me when I say, “There are worse things than being single.” Such as, being tied to life with the wrong person because you rushed such an important decision.
Go Where Christians Are – You cannot find diamonds in a salt mine. It makes me want to both laugh and cry when I hear someone bemoan the fact that they cannot find a good guy or girl at all the bars or secular dating services they frequent. If you want to find a Christian spouse, then you need to frequent the places where Christians are. This is a very common-sense point, but it is amazing how easily it slips our minds.
Don’t Make Marriage Your Life’s Goal – Our goal in life is to praise the God of glory. Too many young people become so enamored with the thought of getting married that they neglect to devote themselves to the service of God. They miss out on the joys of mission work and service because they are too concerned with finding their next date. Focus on God and (to utilize Jesus’ words) “all these things will be added to you,” because you will be surrounded by the kind of people who are worth marrying.
Who you marry is one of the most crucial decisions you will ever make. Do not take it lightly or go about it haphazardly. Seek out someone who shares the same faith, principles, and values that you do. Your soul may depend on it.